4/21/16 Phase 2 - Surgery #1 Day - Bilateral Masectomy & Reconstruction

Insomnia has hit a new HIGH!  I haven't slept for the past 3 nights.  Too many thoughts and emotions going through my mind.  I said good night to my daughters, hugged and kissed them.  I snuck into their rooms during the night and just watched them sleep, so peaceful, with so much life ahead of them.  Gosh, they are beautiful!  I also laid there next to my husband, watching him sleep as well and thought about the day we met and all the life we have had up to this point.  I think about all the life I hope to have and memories to make as we watch our girls grow and we grow together.  So much future ahead!


Then the reality sets in that, the day is finally here and saying I'm scared is a major understatement!  I've done all I can do to be ready for this day, I'm saying many prayers, putting my life into my doctors hands, kissing my daughters as they go off to school and hugging them as tight as I possibly can.  As I do that - my mind drifts to the worst case scenario and I just have to STOP myself.  Today is NOT the day to think those thoughts!  Scott and I are off to the hospital.  I don't want to write too much other than....  Bilateral Masectomy, Sentinal Node Biopsy and Reconstruction, "Let's Do This Surgery Thing". I let go and leave the rest up to the hands of my surgeons and ultimately up to God.