Chemo (Round 1 - Weeks 1-3 of 12)

I am well on my way with treatments.
Week 1 Chemo Jan 7, 2016 - I was scared to death of what the day would be like and Scott was with me the whole time!  It started out with lab work, blood tests for another baseline and meeting with Dr. Browne.  My echo cardiogram results came back with perfect heart function which was great news!  Finally something good!  The rash I had developed from the vancomycin antibiotic I was given during the chest port surgery got a little worse, it spread all over my body and it was super itchy - UGH. 
This First Day of each Round of Chemo will include the following:

-Lidocaine Crème - this is put on around the Port-A-Cath to numb the area

-Salin (Fluids) - to keep you hydrated

-Dexamethasone (Steroid) - an anit-nausea medication to help prevent nausea

-Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) - helps prevent & reverse nausea but can make you lethargic

-Ondansetron (Zofran) - another anti nausea medication

-Ranitidine (Zantac) - helps prevent heartburn

Then the good stuff....

-Pertuzumab (Perjeta) - is an anti cancer chemotherapy drug for patients with HER2+ breast cancer.  It is considered targeted therapy that in addition to traditional chemotheraphy, helps directly block the HER2+ protein

-Trastuzumab (Herceptin) -  is a monoclonal antibody used for patients with HER2+ breast cancer.  It is also considered targeted therapy that in addition to traditional chemotheraphy, helps directly block the HER2+ protein to prevent cells from multiplying, preventing further cancer growth & slowing cancer progression 

-Paclitaxel (Taxol) - is an anti cancer chemotherapy drug used to treat many types of cancer.  It is designed to kill cancer cells that are rapidly dividing.

They warned me about all the side effects and recommended that the first thing the following morning to take:

-Tylenol - to prevent a massive headache

-Prochlorperazine (Compazine) - to prevent nausea

I have to say, I was lucky - I didn't get the massive headache, nausea or fatigue - so in my book, it was an excellent 1st week of chemo! I went to work the next day, no problem, cleaned, ran my girls around, Scott did a lot more of the cooking - he's a amazing cook, thank goodness - YUM!  I can only pray that ALL my treatments go like this and that they are working and doing their job killing the bad cancer cells!  I may be dating myself here - but remember the video game Pac-Man?  I just envisioned that little guy moving internally all over my body eating up those bad cancer cells!  Eat um up baby!

Week 2 Chemo Jan 14, 2016 - I felt a bit more relaxed going into this treatment as I knew what to expect from the previous week.  My wonderful girlfriend Andrea Merenda came with me and we had a few good laughs, she's going to be my girly chemo buddy.  It stated out with meeting with Dr. Browne to see where I'm at.  I let her know that I had some burning during urination, my skin felt drier than normal and when I blew my nose, there was a light bloody mucus that wasn't there before.  My doctor had me do a urine test to make sure there is no infection - results came back clear - whew!  As for the dry skin and light blood when blowing my nose, these are all normal effects of the chemo.  So, lots more moisturizer and Vaseline up my nose for softness.  Ahh, the lovely things we do to feel normal.  This week of chemo included Fluids, Steroids, Benadryl then the chemo drug, Taxol. The Benadryl dose didn't sit well with me this time, it made me very edgy. I couldn't sit, my legs were anxious and I just wanted to kick something. The best way to describe it was I felt like a caged animal and I just wanted to rip everything plugged into me right off and run out of there! Apparently, Benadryl can do that and causes some anxiety.  So, for next time, they will decrease the Benadryl dosage. Relatively speaking though, I still feel good.  Went to work, ran the girls around like normal, went food shopping, put away all the holiday decorations etc.  I did feel a bit tired on Sunday, so I took a short nap.  I'll take feeling good for as long as I can! Here's my note from my daughter for this week and my nurse Leslie - she's the best!

 

 

Week 3 Chemo Jan 21, 2016 - today completes Round 1.  I went to work in the morning, got a bunch of stuff done and then off I went!  I was anxiously waiting to meet with Dr. Browne because I had started feeling some pain under my arm pit area which made me nervous.  My fear was that it could be spreading even though I'm getting treatment - it happens.  She was actually not concerned as she stated that it can mean that the chemo is attacking the cells and breaking them down.  She did another exam and she stated that she didn't feel anything under the arm pit area and that the tumor didn't feel any bigger.  I felt a huge sense of relieve!  Off to treatment I went.  This week of chemo included Fluids, Steroids, Benadryl then the chemo drug, Taxol. My Benadryl dose was half of the previous 2 times and it was much better!  I didn't feel like that caged animal like last time - whew!  My wonderful girlfriend Patti Benjamin who also works at the hospital came to stay with me for a while.  She's also the co-leader of our Girl Scout troop and she's very crafty!  She handmade me this gorgeous scarf with just the right amount of sparkle - she's knows me too well.  It was so thoughtful!  Made me realize I need to re-learn how to knit!   I did feel sleepy during this treatment and even dozed off for a bit.  But again, relatively speaking, still feeling strong.  I'll take it!  Here's my note from my daughters for this week:

THANK YOU - Overwhelmed, Humbled & Blessed

I'm beyond overwhelmed & humbled by so many people who have reached out to me.  All from many different walks of life & paths that has brought us into each other's lives thru the years. From the bottom of my heart.. Thank You. I'm still trying to find acceptance in the fact that I have breast cancer - it's still so fresh and talking about it is still hard - although I'm getting better. I promised my daughters I would be open about everything (within reason of course), so, I'm trying.

All the thoughts, prayers and words of wisdom have been so meaningful to me.  I've read every word, responded to every email, text, call.  I appreciate it ALL!  I have been taken back by it all!  I live in a wonderful town and the support our friends, our daughters friends, neighbors and everyone in general both near and far from our family, family overseas, to my church St. Philips Greek Orthodox Church, to my pageant friends, ZTA sorority sisters, AJWC, Girls Scouts, my work (Fidelity) and Scott's work has shown me and my family has been beyond overwhelming, generous and most of all sooo thoughtful.... I honestly couldn't have imagined it - I'm so humbled and feel truly blessed to have that support.  I've heard from so many women that have gone thru this journey, we've talked about their journey's, they've shared the ups and downs and lots of tips from one extreme to another - thank you for those!  The best part of their stories are that they are still hear and able to talk about it and doing well - that gives me HOPE beyond anything! 

What I found interesting is, how many women reached out and told me they were scheduling their mammograms.  I never imagined my story would lead to that, but I think that's fantastic!  If someone can learn from my story, what more can I ask for?  Check yourself, be proactive and take charge of your health!  As my daughter put it jokingly "Don't be a Boob, Save yours Instead" - LOL.  But seriously, I found my 5cm tumor, I knew my body and it didn't feel like any other lump I've ever had, in my gut I knew something wasn't right.  Trust your gut, if something doesn't feel right, get checked, PLEASE!  The reality is this can happen to anyone of us.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring, for reaching out, for simply acknowledging and being there, even when I don't want to talk or I look like I'm about to cry and lose it - THANK YOU...

1/7/16 Phase 1 - So it Begins...Treatment - 12 weeks of Chemo (Week 1 / Day 1)

I had every intention of trying to get a good night's sleep for what I will begin to face - but how the hell do I do that?  I had a rough night, partly because of the chest port. It's so uncomfortable and painful!  I'm scared of what is to come as of this morning.  Today, begins my treatment!  On the one hand, I'm beyond excited because it means I start to do all the things that will help me hopefully beat this thing.  Yet, on the other hand, I'm beyond scared of what treatment will do to me.  I'm that person who doesn't take aspirin, I don't do medicine unless absolutely necessary.  I don't get sick - I can't picture myself getting sickly.  Well, here I am, ready to put all this poison into my body only to help me fight the other poison that is in there - the Big C...Cancer.

So, today begins 12 weeks of Chemotherapy along with 2 additional hormone blockers due to being triple positive.  I'll be getting Perjeta, Herceptin & Taxol.  Studies have shown that these three drugs together are aggressive treatment and very successful.  I'm trusting my Docs and praying a lot for this to be the case, please God, let this be the case.  My treatment plan for the breast cancer involves 12 weeks of chemo to try to shrink my 5cm tumor, then surgery which will include a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction, then 8 more weeks of chemo and finally, 6 weeks of radiation.  However, after than, because I also am positive for the BRCA1 gene, I will also have surgery to remove my ovaries and fallopian tubes, if not a full hysterectomy.  Nothing like taking out all your femininity right?  Female body parts, buh-bye!  If all goes well with no set backs along the way - I should be done at the end of November with treatment.  I should have no hair by early February.  I can't picture myself with no hair - can you picture my head of long thick hair all gone?  UGH!  One day, one week at a time.  I'm trying really hard to be emotionally and mentally strong.  I'm praying this medicine does it's job - shrinks my tumor and stops it from growing.   For this I pray......

This morning, everyone was on edge.  The girls gave me 2 separate envelopes with their own little notes for encouragement  - very different encouragement from each - both made me cry and laugh at the same time.

 

Scott was with me the whole time.  Dr. Browne and my nurse Leslie were AWESOME!  They took excellent care of me today.  It was a long ass day - got there at 8:30am - finished at 4pm.  As each medication went thru me - I just envisioned it killing these cancer cells. I didn't even take the anxiety drugs. I'm trying to not take anything more than what I have to take, as there are so many drugs going thru my body, I don't want to add anything else if not necessary - it's mind over matter!  I got thru the day, only one set back - had another allergic reaction to a drug from yesterday's surgery. I'm now also allergic to vancomycin, it's an antibiotic - add that to the list.  Other than that, I feel ok, just tired.  Taking it easy at home and resting. 

WEEK 1... DONE!  Take that CHEMO - BAMM!

 

Echo cardiogram, Chest Port Surgery & Genetic Testing

Today 1/6/16 is my 15 year wedding anniversary - a milestone!  Today, was also a prep day for what is to come as of tomorrow.  I had to get an echo cardiogram done as a baseline for my heart function and the chest port installation which requires surgery.  Who would have thought that 15 years ago, we would be spending our 15 year anniversary in a hospital?  Well, here we are.  In an effort of trying to be positive, the good thing is that at least we are together! 

Echo cardiogram went well - we get results tomorrow.  The chest port install was not what I expected. It was pretty intense I must say.  As they were getting me prepped for the surgery, I started having another panic attack.  The nurses were wonderful calming me down, but it suddenly hit me, it became very real to me.  As I was laying in the surgical room with 2 IV's in my arm, I just starred at the ceiling asking myself "how did I get here, how did this happen, is this really happening?"  Then the doctor came in and walked me thru the procedure step by step, coz ya know, I'm all about the details, he was great, Dr. Conrad. I didn't realized that they would have to go thru my neck, install a catheter and the chest port.  Once he finished and I was cleaned up, I was rolled out to wait, Scott came in and when I saw the result of all the bandages, I was taken back.  This is real, it's really happening.  As you can see I look just fabulous!

I thought that I got to a place in my mind, mentally ready with acceptance of what I've been dealt with and with the attitude of attacking this head on with a positive attitude, but today it became real and I realized I'm not quite there.  The tears, anger and disbelief just came on back!  How am I going to do this?  How am I going to find the strength I need to get thru this?  I'm scared AGAIN, I'm so scared!  I could barely make it thru today, how in the world am I going to get thru tomorrow when my treatment actually begins?  How am I going to do this?

Meanwhile, ya know the good news keeps on coming.  I got my genetic test results back.  Positive for BRCA1.  What that means is that I have a mutation in that gene which makes me more at risk for breast cancer AND ovarian cancer.  In addition, it means that my daughters may also be carriers of the same gene.  No, No, No!!!  Why?  Based on those findings, they recommend for me, a bilateral full mastectomy and also removal of my ovaries and fallopian tubes.  Let's add that to the list!  Good Lord, Thank God I've had my children.  But for my girls, it means that somewhere down the road, they will need to get tested to see if they are carriers of the gene.  There is a 50/50 chance they are.  But as it was explained to me, it can skip many generations.  I can only hope and pray that when the time comes for them to get tested, that their results come out negative.  For this I pray!

My Medical Team (Mass General) - Tests, Tests & More Tests

Since I've been diagnosed, it's been nothing but doctor appointments with tests, tests, more tests and much discussion.  We've met with many doctor's and we decided to go with Mass General via Southern New Hampshire Medical Center.  Mass General has a satellite location right here in Nashua,  NH which makes treatment local and if I need to go to Boston, it's right there with all my doctors being Mass General Dr's - we're very happy with our decision.  Dr. Marcia Browne will be my Medical Oncologist and Dr. Suzanne Coopey will be my Breast Surgeon.  Scott and I felt really comfortable with then from an educational, medical & experience perspective.  They were both extremely thorough, caring and basically knew their stuff!  I liked them and their expertise a lot!  They are my lifeline to beating this hell of a thing called breast cancer. 


Beyond the mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies, I've had to do a number of blood tests, genetic testing to find out if I am a carrier of certain cancer genes & a breast MRI.  Because of the lymphatic invasion within the breast, they wanted me to also move forward with a Chest CT, Abdominal CT & a Bone Scan to determine if there has been any spreading to other areas.  During the abdominal & chest CT's I ended up having an allergic reaction to the contrast dye - my tongue and back of my throat swelled up very quickly - it was bad.  I was rushed to the ER, spent 3 hours there on New Year's Eve.  Add that to the list - yeahi me!


My results came back negative with the abdominal & bone scans, but there was some indication of lymph node growth.  I almost fell to my knees when I heard.  I felt like we were back to square one.  I was on hold until further review.  My medical team meets on Tuesday's to review all the new Cancer Cases at Mass General with their Cancer / Tumor Teams.  After review today, I got a call from Dr. Browne.  She said that after review of the scans, they felt that there was no evidence of any suspicious lymph node tumors.  THANK GOD!  If there was, I would have to do a sentinel node biopsy upfront which would delay me starting treatment.  I'd rather be safe than sorry, but beyond happy that we can move forward. Who would have thought I'd be looking forward to chemo?


The ups and downs of this road are insane.  One minute I want to throw up, then next you are happy that there was some good news despite the reality of what I'm facing.  It's an emotional roller coaster to an extreme.  I'm buckling up my belt, as this road has proven to be beyond bumpy to say the least.  I better hold on tight, really tight as the ride is just beginning!